Author: Dr. Gloria K Vanderhorst

DELIVERY

Comfort, Connection, and the Freedom to Choose

Convenience isn’t confinement—it’s a gateway. For individuals in Maryland and DC, this reflection explores how the delivery age reshapes our routines, expands our choices, and deepens our connection to what truly matters.

I am content in my home. We have spent years remodeling, revamping, restoring and reimagining this space. It works very well now. There are places to go in this tiny house that are inviting and purposeful. The screened-in porch has been revamped with these magical rolldown screens so that if you want to have an open-air experience you just push the button on the remote. This is also perfect for cleaning the porch because you just raise the screens and use the big blower to scoot all dust, leaves and dirt out of the way. When the weather turns a bit chilly, we fire up the electric fireplace and extend our porch sitting days for another month. I love being outdoors.

The deck is another lovely place to be. A hummingbird feeder entertains us most of the summer. Those guys are getting ready to leave us for the long journey to Mexico, so the feeder is really busy, and they tend to fight each other for space. There is plenty of room, but they just don’t seem to enjoy sharing. The battles add to the entertainment. As Fall approaches, the squirrels are busy collecting walnuts from the tree in the neighbor’s yard. Squirrels are very interesting creatures. So far, I have seen them bury these big green balls in flowerpots and under bushes. I imagine the green coating disintegrating over time to expose the hard wrinkly shell protecting the nut. If you have ever tried to open a walnut yourself, you will appreciate the squirrel.

All this comfort has led us to take advantage of the numerous delivery services available. We no longer go to the grocery store. Bags of supplies are delivered to the front door. We no longer go to the hardware store. Boxes of tools and supplies are delivered by Amazon. We don’t even have to go to Starbucks as we have grandchildren for that delivery. This is starting to sound insane! Are we becoming hermits?

Nowadays almost anything can be done remotely. I can go to Church online. I can attend concerts online. I can watch all manner of lectures and educational presentations online. My parents and grandparents would be shocked, and they would wonder if I were losing my mind or becoming a hermit. However, the interesting thing is that my choices are becoming more important and not less. I choose to meet my friends for lunch. I choose to attend small intimate concerts to listen to wonderful Baroque Music. I choose to visit galleries and marvel at the talent that lives in this town. I choose to walk through beautiful gardens that are only a few miles away or wander in the woods that snakes from downtown D.C. to the outer reaches of the County. The conveniences of delivery have opened time to express my values, challenge my intellect and satisfy my soul. Thank you to the delivery age.

Want to explore how remote services and emotional connection intersect? Visit ScaleUp365’s guide to emotional intelligence in remote life, The National Center for Emotional Wellness’ reflections on remote work, and Forbes’ strategies for emotional connection in the delivery age.

If you’re reflecting on lifestyle, emotional wellness, or meaningful choices, therapy can help. Learn more about individual therapy in Maryland and DC or explore therapeutic approaches that support emotional insight and intentional living.

THE DINNER TABLE

Ritual, Resilience, and the Emotional Blueprint of Mealtime

The dinner table isn’t just where we eat—it’s where we learn who we are. For individuals in Maryland and DC, this reflection explores how family mealtime rituals shape emotional development, communication styles, and lifelong relational patterns.

First, let me say that if your family is having dinner together even a few nights a week then BRAVO! So many families have abandoned this practice as their children are programmed to participate in every activity imaginable. Dinner is often in the car on the way to football practice, dance lessons or art training or sewing classes.

Still, I meet with families who continue this tradition at least a few nights a week. When working with individuals regardless of their age, I tend to ask them to describe family meals and how they happen. The range is quite broad but they can be categorized as follows:

1. Rigid Processes: Structured, formal, and often hierarchical. Children may be expected to report on achievements, and deviation from etiquette is discouraged.
2. On the Fly: Flexible, staggered, and often chaotic. Humor and unpredictability coexist, and connection happens in passing.
3. Casual: Inclusive, humorous, and emotionally rich. Interruptions are welcome, and laughter is a bonding tool.

In the “Rigid Process” family, everyone must show up for dinner and come prepared. A dress code may also be enforced but it need not be formal. The time is spent in discussions that are relevant to current events, politics or global issues. Frequently, the children are present as an audience for the parents or the parents and teens who are deemed bright enough to participate. Younger children will be asked to report on schoolwork or other competitive endeavors, but their time is limited and their reports must be serious. Attention to the speaker is expected and demanded if your mind wanders off. The time at the table is generally longer than the youngest member can tolerate. If that discomfort is noticed, the child will be reprimanded or sent away in shame.

In the “On the Fly” family, everyone shows within a time frame, but they may come at staggered times, eat and leave. Sharing is not required but is accepted. The process is casual so if you come in your soccer uniform, everyone understands that you are soon off to practice and just need to pack in some calories. Conversations are brief and choppy as people come and go. Some chaos is accepted as normal and may even be ritualized, such as the teenager grabbing food to go. The interactions are generally humorous or hostile depending on the mood of the adults and that can be unpredictable. The younger members may be used as “labor” to get certain things from the pantry or fridge. The tone of the kitchen is generally accepting.

In the “Casual” family, everyone is expected at a given time and the conversation is free flowing with antics and humor accepted. At this table, “Dad jokes” are expected and the conversation is light and airy. Serious topics are reserved for another time. Being interrupted is a part of the causal process as one person’s sharing may remind another of something that they are bursting to add to the conversation. One study of the dinner table shows that humor is an important part of skill building both with language and emotional resilience. In this household, humor is expected at the table and tends to form a bond that leads to a sense of belonging and acceptance.

Examine the dinner table during your childhood and talk about how this family ritual influenced both how you feel about yourself and how you relate to others. The dinner table is a training ground. Just like the sports or intellectual games that you learned to play as a child, your early experiences at the dinner table point you in a direction. You will keep going in that direction unless you take time to examine how these childhood experiences have impacted you today.

Want to explore how family meals shape emotional health and connection? Visit Thrive Nutrition’s guide to emotional benefits of family dinners, BioLife Health Center’s reflections on bonding through meals, and Good Life Family Magazine’s science of eating together.

If you’re reflecting on family rituals, emotional development, or relational patterns, therapy can help. Learn more about individual therapy in Maryland and DC or explore therapeutic approaches that support emotional insight and family wellness.

LET THE THOROUGHBREDS RUN

Leadership, Initiative, and the Power of Natural Drive

Some people don’t just walk into a room—they gallop. For individuals in Maryland and DC, this reflection explores how “thoroughbred” personalities shape group dynamics, and why recognizing and supporting natural leaders can elevate everyone.

Now, this may have you thinking about horse racing. I lived in Baltimore, Maryland for a long time so the Pimlico Race Course was a popular place and as a young person I was once thrilled to go to Churchill Downs. I used to ride horses and loved the experience of trotting around the ring or trail riding. I am short and a friend of mine once put me on one of her horses that was more than 17 hands. I was certain that I could touch the sky and a part of me was sure I would be thrown and die. Surviving the trail ride was my one goal. But this theme is not about horses.

I want to talk about groups. Every group from early childhood, including those toddler groups that your mother took you to, has a thoroughbred or two in it. What to do? Some people are just made to take initiative. I think they come out of the womb directing the obstetrician on what to wrap them in and where to place them. Honestly, I know infants are born with this survival intelligence and I am sure that certain ones survive by directing traffic. If you have one of these kids, you know when to get out of the way!

I remember watching one of these children at a first-grade school play. She had a minor role herself, but she had clearly memorized all the dialogue for her peers. If they hesitated or stumbled, she would prance over to them to feed them their lines. If they positioned themselves on stage in the wrong spot, she would tip toe over to gently place them in the right place. She must have watched the teacher do this gentle move and was now duplicating the process. The play went off quite smoothly and she was so proud at the end. She had helped everyone put on a perfect performance! Obviously, from her point of view.

These “Type A” personalities are valuable, even when they are a bit annoying. If you have ever watched a Triple Crown horse race, you will know what I mean. These three-year-old Thoroughbreds are prepared for the ultimate challenge. They have confidence and have come out of the womb with this sense of power and control. They have presence as they prance forward with head up and chest out. They offer a form of regal resistance when approaching the gate. They have strength that you can see in their legs and chest as they push forward to get ahead of everyone else.

Thoroughbreds walk among us, and we would do well to recognize them. Their posture is erect and regal. Their presence is noticed by others. Their wisdom is like a crown on their heads. Their grace is subtle but obvious. Let them run. Watch them organize and perform. Support them in any way they ask or need. Enjoy the outcome. Take pride in the race they have run and the joy they have shared. Let the Thoroughbreds Run.

Want to explore how natural leaders shape group dynamics? Visit Sharon Khen’s leadership lessons from horse herds, Psynet Group’s Triple Crown of Thoroughbred Leadership, and Equinox Coaching’s insights on herd behavior and leadership.

If you’re reflecting on personality, leadership, or group dynamics, therapy can help. Learn more about individual therapy in Maryland and DC or explore therapeutic approaches that support emotional insight and leadership development.

BOOK SIGNING

Ink, Intention, and the Gift of Connection

A signature isn’t just a name—it’s a moment of meaning. For individuals in Maryland and DC, this reflection explores how book signings and inscriptions become emotional bridges between author and reader, giver and receiver.

Have you ever signed a book for someone?

This past weekend, I was invited to the Reading Glass Bookstore in New Jersey to sign copies of my book, “Read, Reflect, Respond: The 3 R’s of Growth and Change.” The bookstore is located in a mall with a lot of foot traffic. Sitting at a table in the front of the store allowed me to beckon passersby and enjoy talking with them about their experiences with journaling and encouraging them to take a book home.

The lovely thing about this book is that it has no discernible order. You can approach it from any direction. You can jump around depending on your mood for that day or week. Another thing I truly love about this book is that the response page is unlined. The page is blank, leaving you the opportunity to draw, scribble, or scratch as the mood strikes you. Our responses to reading will not always come in the form of words. Sometimes, we need to draw or scribble to connect with our thoughts and feelings.

Even if you haven’t published a book, I bet you’ve signed one for someone. As a preteen, I went through religious training, and my parents signed a Bible for me. As a professional, I participated in a year-long training program led by a well-known author. At the end of the training, I was awarded one of his books, which he had signed. Then, I asked the members of my small team to sign it as well.

Books are treasures. When a book is given to you, the giver has a special purpose. First, I believe the gift is a sign of respect and love. Second, I think the book has a clear intent. The giver wants you to benefit in some way, and giving you this book is a way of honoring the relationship with you and encouraging your growth.

When have you given a book to someone? Now is the time!

P.S. A few people asked about the book signing, so I’ve put together a photo album on Facebook for you to check out. Take a look here: Book Signing Photo Album

Interested in building emotional insight through reflective practice? Explore individual therapy in Maryland and DC or learn more about therapeutic approaches that nurture emotional growth through creativity and connection.

COURAGE

Everyday Bravery and the Quiet Power Within

Courage isn’t reserved for heroes—it lives in all of us. For individuals in Maryland and DC, this reflection explores how emotional resilience shows up in daily life, and how recognizing our own acts of courage can deepen self-respect and connection.

Courage is an interesting word. My first thought is to think of men and now women who go to war to protect our country and the courage required to put yourself on a beach with bombs blasting around you or the courage that it takes to fly an airplane into enemy territory and be chased by other airplanes. Then I think about the young children in hospitals fighting cancer and the families that surround them with love and courage. These are the courage challenges at the extreme ends of personal experience.

What about the space in between facing war and facing life-threatening illness? The space in between is filled with all forms of courage:

• The mother gets up early to make lunches to get to her nursing job by 7 a.m. for the 7 to 3 p.m. shift.
• The father works a job for a paycheck, whether he likes it or hates it, and never complains.
• The elderly neighbor faces daily pain yet waves and smiles as she picks up her paper.
• The depressed teen comes home straight from school to watch her younger sibling until her parents get home.

Courage comes in all sizes and shapes, and it’s a universal human experience. The examples I’ve listed are just a few instances of facing adversity. However, courage is needed to face any life experience and choose to do our best. The new reader in first grade needs courage to read aloud. The middle school boy swinging the bat and hoping to hit the ball is using courage to stand in front of his team and the fans. The high school drama student walks on stage, holding fast to the memorized lines. We all have our moments of courage, no matter how big or small.

When have you leaned into your courage? Think about this. Reflect on those times that you have called on your courage. You had to tell a friend or family member how their rudeness hurt you. You had to give a presentation to a group of investors to help your company gain an advantage. These are just a few examples. Take a moment to recall your own acts of courage, no matter how big or small. Recognize and appreciate your own strength.

We all find times when we must call on our courage and lean into it. When you have done this, how do you feel? When you have watched someone you love do this, how do you feel toward them? I am filled with awe by the fact that we have this capability. I don’t care if I am talking about the kindergartener who stands to recite the alphabet or read a simple passage or the teen who risks trying out for the school play or the college wrestler who decides to dig deeper for energy to pin the opponent or the employee who sees corruption and decides to report it. Having courage is innate. What a marvelous design. We each have this capability and instinctively know when it is required. That does not mean we always choose to use it, but we always know when it is needed.

Want to explore how courage builds emotional resilience and personal growth? Visit NeuroLaunch’s guide to courage as a complex psychological state, The Feeling Human’s reflections on courage and transformation, and Authentic Happiness’ insights on moral and emotional courage.

If you’re reflecting on emotional strength, resilience, or personal transformation, therapy can help. Learn more about individual therapy in Maryland and DC or explore therapeutic approaches that support emotional insight and courageous living.

SKY

Constellations, Calm, and the Cosmic Perspective

Sometimes the best therapy is overhead. For individuals in Maryland and DC, this reflection explores how stargazing connects us to childhood wonder, emotional resilience, and the quiet wisdom of the night sky.

As a kid, I remember lying on the ground at dusk and staring at the sky. The grass beneath was cool, and you could run your hands along the ground, feeling the blades swish between your fingers. If you positioned yourself in the middle of the backyard, no tree branches or building roofs would block your view. Our backyard was long and skinny, so you had a fantastic opportunity to find a free spot. The ground still had some warmth, and you could lie there until dark and wait for the stars to come out.

Of course, we learned to look for the “Big Dipper” and the “North Star.” Those were easy to spot at certain times of the year. They looked remarkably close in some ways, and in others, they seemed far away. I think their proximity was more about one’s mood than the actual distance. The other constellations required some brain power. Did you know that there are twelve familiar constellations? Twelve! Sometimes I think the world is way too organized. Here are the famous twelve:

1. Aries
2. Taurus
3. Gemini
4. Cancer
5. Leo
6. Virgo
7. Libra
8. Scorpio
9. Sagittarius
10. Capricorn
11. Aquarius
12. Pisces

Of course, the obvious challenge is finding them and knowing when they can be seen in your location. I am a Taurus, so I am going to be hunting for that one. Taurus is a weird positioning of a bull as though it is scrunching itself to prepare to return to utero. That cocoon stage of complete safety and support is tempting. Life, even for a kid, can sometimes take its toll. Your science project did not turn out the way you had hoped, and having the poster board fall over in the middle of your presentation was embarrassing. Last night at dinner, when you asked for the salt to spice up your meat, that slight head turn and request resulted in your brother stabbing your meat and eating it before the salt arrived. As a Taurus displaying strength, determination, and loyalty, you decide that meat will never need salt again! Or that the dinner table is a dangerous place to be.

But, when you are enjoying lying on the cool grass and watching the stars come out, let go of the daily irritations and you think this is the best place to be.

Want to explore how stargazing fosters emotional clarity and cosmic connection? Visit Very Big Brain’s guide to patience and perspective through stargazing, Auryo’s spiritual meaning of moon and stars, and Quotesanity’s constellation quotes for inspiration and reflection.

If you’re reflecting on perspective, emotional grounding, or cosmic curiosity, therapy can help. Learn more about individual therapy in Maryland and DC or explore therapeutic approaches that support emotional insight and personal renewal.

SELF EXAMINATION

Aging, Attention, and the Art of Caring for Yourself

Self-care isn’t selfish—it’s survival. For individuals in Maryland and DC, this reflection explores how emotional awareness and physical discipline intersect, and how aging invites us to examine not just our bodies, but our habits and values.

I am due for my annual physical, but I am not considering that type of examination. I am thinking about the mental and emotional reflections that help us to see ourselves clearly and adjust as we age. Yes, I am going to talk about the dreaded topic of aging.

No matter what age you are, you are always aging! Hey, you are human. Humans age. Of course, we love to watch this process when looking at our young children, teenagers, or new college graduates. What happens to that sense of adventure and curiosity when we look at ourselves? We feel a joint start to stiffen, or a muscle weaken, or we see our skin loosen up in places. Ok. That is not fun, and we do have to use that exercise bike or treadmill in the basement. Besides, there are plenty of books on tape or excellent travel channels to watch. Sometimes, you can get so engaged in the media that you lose track of how long you have been walking or pedaling. That is a good thing! Give yourself a pat on the back if your arthritis will let you reach that far! Just kidding.

Looking at our health and wellbeing is essential. Humans are resilient and can stay healthy, fit, and vital for decades. The actual process is easy in terms of time and energy. The American Heart Association says that we can all stay fit and healthy with 20 minutes of moderate exercise daily. See, the exercise bike or treadmill does not need to be a place to hang old clothes! Hang yourself on these devices for 20 minutes, and you are good to go. Then, what stops us? If the process is truly that easy, why are we so resistant? Sometimes, I think I can spend more time protesting the idea of the exercise bike than it would take to ride the darn thing! This is not about time. This is about attention to me and discipline.

Many humans have difficulty attending to themselves. All you must do is look around. As a culture, we are a very unhealthy group. Then, look at yourself. Check your weight. Check your blood pressure. Check the last time you had a physical exam. Check the last time you spent 20 minutes in aerobic exercise. See where this is going? Taking care of ourselves is not a difficult task, and it is not time-consuming. The key is consistency. You have routines for many things. Those routines serve you well. Find the one routine that will serve your exercise needs and keep you strong for years to come.

Want to explore how aging and self-reflection support emotional and physical wellness? Visit Neuroscience News’ guide to midlife growth and self-acceptance, Smart Strategies for Successful Living’s reflections on aging, and Psychology Today’s insights on aging and comfort with self.

If you’re reflecting on aging, discipline, or emotional wellness, therapy can help. Learn more about individual therapy in Maryland and DC or explore therapeutic approaches that support emotional insight and life-stage vitality.

SITTING AND NOT WANTING TO LEAVE

Connection, Grace, and the Gift of Lingering

Some moments ask us to stay. For individuals in Maryland and DC, this reflection explores how deep friendships and shared presence remind us that emotional connection is not just a need—it’s a sacred experience.

I hope you’ve had the experience of sitting with friends and not wanting the moment to end. We are born connected. How many times have I repeated that phrase to myself and in my writings? We are born connected and spend the rest of our lives seeking connections with others. A connection is such a natural thing. As an embryo, the connection is a lifeline that feeds, nurtures, and assures us that more connections will come. As we float in amniotic fluid, we hear the sounds of another world beyond the one we inhabit. Perhaps the sounds are muffled, but they are interesting and intriguing, and we long to know more about them. We want to explore the outer world and discover what lies beyond.

As we sit with friends, we feel the connection and the desire to remain connected. Too many days and weeks have passed since we last saw each other. We love each other, and we want to nurture our love and respect for one another. We trust each other and know our words will be respected and cherished. We laugh at stories of the past and present. We delve into histories that are joyous and tragic. We understand. We respect. And most of all, we cherish these pieces of each other as though they were precious gems to be honored and carefully placed in our jewelry boxes, safekept in our hearts. We love each other.

That love does not gush all over the room. Our love is gentle and tender. We deeply respect each other and want each other to flourish and be healthy. We respect the limits inherent in each of us and offer assistance. We know it will one day be reciprocated.

The place where we gather expects us to be there on a regular basis. They allow us to linger, acknowledging that we haven’t been together for some time. They are patient and gracious as we stay, laugh, and tell more stories. The laughter rises in the room and spills across the balconies on the second floor. Fortunately, the place is clearing as the lunch crowd exits. We can see the staff clearing the tables and readying the place for the dinner crowd that will appear within two to three hours. Yet, we are not ready. We linger and are accepted as truants. Just a patient acceptance and recognition of the importance of this meeting. Grace is precious.

Friends are perfect!

Want to explore how emotional presence and connection shape well-being? Visit Dr. Vanderhorst’s original post on Sitting and Not Wanting to Leave, Psych Central’s guide to emotional presence and abandonment, and Psychology Today’s insights on relational energy and emotional fatigue.

If you’re reflecting on connection, emotional presence, or relational healing, therapy can help. Learn more about individual therapy in Maryland and DC or explore therapeutic approaches that support emotional insight and interpersonal growth.

BASKETBALL FOR ALL

Driveways, Dynasties, and the Rise of Gender Equity

Basketball isn’t just a sport—it’s a shared language. For individuals in Maryland and DC, this reflection explores how childhood games and collegiate icons reveal the evolving landscape of gender equity in sports.

I recently wrote a post about Men’s Basketball and my sister chastised me for not highlighting Women’s Basketball as well. Basketball is finally a sport for men and women. Actually, I was reminded that it always has been when you look at the “home” court.

I remember the basketball hoop above the garage door. Our garage was in the alley at the end of the property, so there was plenty of space to play ball and shoot hoops. HORSE was a favorite game of all the neighbors. You could shoot from any angle and distance with space in the alley. The contests were intense and sometimes severe. We were all competitive, and that certainly describes the kids in our neighborhood. We could set up all kinds of competitions but none better than HORSE.

If you are not familiar with the game, it is pretty easy. Each team shoots in turn, and each basket counts as a letter in the word HORSE. The team that completes the spelling first is the winner. Of course, this sounds simple. However, like all parts of life, the task is not simple.

First, you must realize that everyone else is watching you. Half of them are holding their breath not to break your concentration, and the other half are shouting insults! What kind of a game is this?! It’s pretty fun because when the other team has a turn, you insult them! What kid does not enjoy exchanging an insult or two? This was all genuine fun, and our boundaries were respected most of the time. A new kid in the neighborhood might have to be corralled, but only once.

As a kid, both the boys and the girls competed together. You might think that the boys dominated, but that was not necessarily so. Many of the girls were great shots. Today, as I surf the channels for basketball, I will also find girls and guys on competitive teams. The girls are equally passionate and equally talented. Since I live in the Maryland/DC area, following the Maryland Terrapins is easy, and you must admire their coach, Brenda Frese. As their head coach since 2002, she is an icon. I wonder why a professional team did not snatch her up long ago. Her teams have a history of success and dominance. Also, I can see that she respects these students and encourages their potential.

As a teen, I was a member of the cheering block. Remember the group that sat in the bleachers and cheered their heads off? We also wore weird shirts. The front was gold colored, and the back was black…our school colors, of course! With this flexibility, we could spell out things or create one giant letter to symbolize our team. That was a blast, except for being hoarse the next day.

Cheering for your favorite team is a blast.

Want to explore how basketball is advancing gender equity? Visit National Geographic’s history of women’s basketball and equity, The Ubyssey’s coverage of gender equality in North American basketball, and Feminist Campus’ guide to the WNBA’s fight for equality.

If you’re reflecting on sports, gender roles, or community connection, therapy can help. Learn more about individual therapy in Maryland and DC or explore therapeutic approaches that support emotional insight and social wellness.

END OF THE YEAR

Reflection, Intention, and the Power of Personal Agency

The calendar may turn, but transformation begins within. For individuals in Maryland and DC, this reflection explores how year-end rituals invite clarity, gratitude, and intentional planning for a future shaped by choice.

As November and December play out heading to the end of the year, celebrations of all kinds are happening. We focus on being grateful for the brave souls who crossed an ocean and risked their lives to start a new country. We are focused on faiths of all kinds, honoring our spiritual histories, and pausing to examine the meaning of life itself. When we approach the year’s end, we commit ourselves to new beginnings and better ways of being present with others.

In this season of reflection, be intentional about taking time to reflect on your past year. December is a suitable time to find a comfortable spot and sit quietly with pen and paper. Look at your past year. What stands out to you? Positive and negative. Where have you been? Who have you spent time with? Look at how you have invested yourself over the past year and examine the impact. Some of you have invested in your children and grandchildren. Some of you have spent time with friends and colleagues. People’s interactions can be a blessing or a challenge. Reflect on how you have functioned with others, and think about what you want to repeat, what you want to change, and what you want to add for the future. People are our most precious assets.

In this season of reflection, be intentional about taking time to plan your year. The good news is that you get to choose how this coming year will go. Of course, you cannot select all the parts, but you can choose many. You have time, energy, and resources. Be intentional about how you want to invest in each of these. Examine how you have spent your time in the past year. I am sure you had ideas and dreams about what you wanted to experience. Do not just dream about them. Make real plans. See that aging aunt in Idaho. Take that flight to Iceland to experience the Northern Lights. Stop talking about what you want to do and where you will go and make actual plans—volunteer at the soup kitchen. Spend time in the NICU holding babies.

The next year of your life will be filled with your choices, whether intentional or not. The question is, will these choices be intentional? So many times, we move through our day, our week, our year without intention. We talk about having goals. I want to lose weight and keep it off so that movement becomes easier. There are clear directions on how to do that. I need to follow them. I want to spend time with friends and have meaningful conversations. They would welcome that. I need to call them. I want to practice my instrument to make the music light and easy. I need to take the time in my day and do it.

We are coming to the end of the year. The new year is just around the corner. I have agency in many parts of my life. If I sat with a pad of paper and a pen, I could be clear about areas of my life where I have agency. I could take myself seriously. The new year is ahead; I can fill the pad with specific plans and goals.

Want to explore structured ways to reflect and plan your year? Visit Savvy Sparrow’s printable end-of-year reflection worksheet, Productive Fish’s guide to year-end reflection and planning, and Psychology Today’s questions for closing the year and preparing for the next.

If you’re reflecting on personal growth, intention, or emotional clarity, therapy can help. Learn more about individual therapy in Maryland and DC or explore therapeutic approaches that support emotional insight and life-stage transformation.